A Great 'ol Yarn

A great true story from my friend:

The site known as tutor.com can be a very fun place, as I found out. It's a site where you connect with real people and they help you with your school work. The interface has a web browser, a chalkboard, and a chat box. Here are three stories pertaining to my adventures on this site.

The first topic I chose was 8th grade social studies.

"When was the Treaty of Paris?' I asked.

"Well, do you have a textbook to look in?"

"Yes, I think it is called Freedom."

"Well, did you look it up?"

"It wouldn't tell me the answer. I asked it several times."

"Here's a site that might help."

The site pulled up, and the headline was right there, The Treaty of Paris of 1783.

"Oh, that's okay, I found the answer."

"Okay."

"It was in 1738."

"No, it was in 1783."

"No, I'm certain it was in 1738. Look it up."

"1783."

"Thank you for your help, goodbye."

The second topic I chose was 9th grade mathematics.

"Hello, I want to know if COS is a cognitive function," my friend Kevin asked, or something like it.

"Well, do you have a textbook to look in?"

"No. I mean yes."

"Did you look it up?"

"Yes, I found the answer, but I don't believe it."

The lady ignored that and proceeded to draw two very exquisite triangles, with lines and curves placed accurately. Before she could explain the diagram, I took matters into my own hands, rather the mouse, and erased two-thirds of the first triangle she had drawn. There was a small pause.

"Please don't erase."

"Oh, sorry, that was my baby brother. She can be so annoying sometimes."
"I see."

"Thank you for your help, goodbye."

The last topic I chose was college physics. This is the best one. We were speaking with someone named Christopher.

"Hello, I want to know how phyglonomy works in bicycles."

"Phyglonomy?"

"Yes, phyglonomy."

"My dictionary doesn’t have this word, are you sure you spelled it right?"

"Yes, phyglonomy."

"My other dictionary can't find it either, are you sure that's how it's spelled?"

"Yes, I would like to know how phyglonomy reacts with bicycle metal when it experiences extreme friction and has kinetic ruptures."

There is a pause; he is obviously trying to look up something.

"I want to know about phyglonomy with the lymonies."

"Lymonies, are you sure you spelled that right?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, it's lynomies."

"I can't find that, are you sure you spelled it right?"

"Hold on, I have an equation for you."

Kevin had drawn Hi Chris on the chalkboard.

"Okay, look on the chalkboard."

A pause.

"All I see is hi Chris."

Kevin erased it and drew the pressure formula, P=F/A.

"Okay, we have a real equation this time."

"Oh that's the formula for pressure."

"No, it's phyglonomy equals lynomies over area."

"What? No, it's pressure equals force divided by area."

"Yes, I would like to know about the phyglonomy."

He went into jargon about the pressure formula."

"I want to know about phyglonomy!"

"Maybe I should connect you to someone else."

"Yes, please do that."

We logged out, laughing hysterically.

By Josh, visit my website at http://members.iquest.net/~cbooth/ourhomepage.html for more of my stuff.